Photography

Just a little random post

butterfly forget me nots

So today I decided to venture out in the sunshine (Its lasting a rather long time don’t you think?) and I wandered up to the old church grounds where I like to sit in peace and quiet. I noticed some lovely forget-me-nots next to me, so crouched down to get a decent shot. I used some weird defocusing app on my phone camera and ended up with floating flowers *ahem* It was only the background I meant to fuzz out, but these flowers look rather surreal……like butterflies.

daisy defocus

Kindof like this idea…..I do like daisies, but they smell a bit off.

I printed these pic off and stuck them in my new notebook. I had an idea to keep some sort of scrapbooky, notes, ideas, kind of thing…..like a journal but more doodling and artful. I used to do it as a kid and have been toying with the idea again. Of course now, its a whole expensive industry of its own, but I’m doing it “old school” for nostalgia sake, with sticky tape and messy writing. I’ll show it when its done. Just something to keep me occupied, since I only have a couple of weeks left of college.

Last day of placement tomorrow – I’m bringing in some nice biscuits as a thank you (and part apology since I keep eating theirs at break time!)

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Photography

My temporary work commute

Blossom church

So, with this college course…..I have to complete a small work placement. Its just for experience, to put what we have learned, into practice. I ended up being placed in a small doctors surgery in the middle of the countryside……basically because I was the only person who wanted it. Everyone else in the class wanted “city slicker” hospitals because there was more chance of being taken on as an employee. Fair enough, but from what I have seen there are many different vacancies all over the place. I’m quite laid back and utterly uncompetitive…I’ll get a job somewhere, heh!

Anyway, my point is…..as my classmates were cramming into trains, buses, traffic jams, etc on a baking hot day…..I was meandering along country roads filled with cherry blossom, listening to birdsong, feeling the warm sun on my face and taking photos en route.

river trees

Such a beautiful river that I had to cross.

bridge

By way of this bridge. Look at how unbusy it is, heh!

Bluebell path

This little path is filled with bluebells. I had to cut through this to get to the place I’ll be working for the next couple of weeks.

Church

A lovely old church – just down the road from the one at the top of this post. The place I work is just up the road and round the corner. The day went by quite well, and I spent lunchtime sitting by the river watching a heron, feeling so appreciative and grateful that I’m not trapped in a hot sticky office!

Tomorrow is going to be raining apparently, haha! Doubt I’ll be as cheery then 😀

 

 

art, Photography

Hello from your “very bad at blogging” friend!

Hi, hi…..I’m just sneaking in here very apologetic. I know I said wayyyyyyy back at Easter that I would update and stuff, but I didn’t. I’m here now though. Back at college, but gosh the end is in sight, oh yes. Thank goodness! 7th June is the final day, and I still have to squeeze in a work placement plus a handful of exams – eeeek!

I wanted to share some sunshine with you. Its been sorely missed of late, so I walked slowly back from college today, enjoying the warmth (no jacket was worn – the first time ever this year!) I looked at the trees as they struggle to hurry up with the blooming phase.

tree sky

I always enjoy branches against a sky.

mother nature art

I went to the beach the other day – again in the magical sunshine (I actually paddled in the water…..!) and I came across this. Mother Natures Art……I had no hand in this composition. I think its beautiful.

smiley doll

On the creative front, I made yet another terrible doll. I call this the Eternally Happy Doll, haha! I was trying some new attachment idea for the limbs so they swing separately from the body (just in case you thought I hadn’t sewn the arms on very well!) I painted the clothes, and the hair and the face. Tried to make it look like a 3D drawing sketch, if that makes sense.

wee face pillowThis is a weird little pillow cushion wall hanging I made. Just thread and sharpie marker on a stuffed piece of fabric. I was playing with pin cushions ideas, but as this ended up about 8 inches high, it became a wall hanging, heh!

stripey mirrorFinally we have the Zebra Mirror. Its a work in progress since I need to straighten up the black edges and do another layer before I varnish it all yet, but considering the wood was dark and scratched from its previous home, I had to rescue it from the charity shop and make it different.

So that’s it really. Studies——-> blast of creativity————> studies. That’s my life right now. Not that I’m complaining…….much *ahem* 🙂

Blogging 101

What a difference a year makes

cherry blossomI was scrolling through my photos on the laptop (procrastinating from accounts homework, heh! Numbers are not my friend) and I came across this photo from last year, taken the same day as today…give or take a day or two. I see this, and then look outside at the bleak skies, the chilly air, the bare trees that frankly, look quite dead. Its been a horrible year weather wise and I really hope it changes for the better very soon, or me and Mother Nature and going to be having WORDS, oh yes.

Anyway, musing upon the nostalgic same-time-last-year mood, I noticed how my blog posts changed and fell away for the most part as I embarked upon the college adventure. I was far more productive and energised last year, and now with studies, my creativity is more like a sleeping cat curled up on the rug, raising its head every so often to see if there is anything interesting going on! Nope, ok then, back to snoozing.

So! To nudge the “creative cat” into some high jinks, I have set myself some challenges for the upcoming Easter Break (off college for two whole weeks, I cannot wait!) To be fair, I have been collecting some arty things for “during the break” so its not like I’m starting from scratch, but…..I am on a mission to post every other day during the first two weeks in April. If I can get into a routine with that, then it should be easy enough to continue, yes? I’m making up a working list of projects as you read this, so there will be some diy’s, some illustrations, photography, textile projects, and – if I’m brave enough – maybe a video or two. I’m trying to treat this like an art retreat, if that makes sense. (Since clearly a holiday on a hot sunny island is out of the question!) I do still have some work to do for college (because we aren’t getting away from it THAT easily!), and a work placement to organise, but those things – during the holiday at least – will be firmly set in second place.

I’m just holding myself accountable, which is why I’m writing it out here. Its important to take a break from the necessities of life and just play for a while. Its all about balance. 🙂

 

 

art, Photography

Happy Thursday!

Its not a special day is a Thursday, is it? I mean its too far away to look forward to the weekend, and it could still technically be “mid-week”, which is a bit tedious, so I’m wishing all who arrive here a Happy Thursday. 😀

So, what’s been going on…..well I made some art (always good, right?)

collage stickers

I’m not sure what to do with them now…..do they become stickers? or do I make a collage? I have no sticker paper so I thought of doing something nifty with double sided tape so that they could be applied only when required. Hmmm….but then a collage would be nice too. With added elements of course – these are just random with no connection.

Also, the last of my ink photos:

treeinkbowl

Now if such a thing exists as a circular picture frame, I would be very interested! I did look online, but everything is square – or a circle within a square. I would like a circle, with circle glass. Keeping on looking because I would love to frame this one! Its like a little tree world.

And finally….we went for a walk on a cold bleak day. It was raining and cold – typical Scottish weather…

bleak walk day

But we saw this

lucky memorial

Which seems to be a memorial to someone’s pet. I thought that was quite sweet. Especially the knitted flower toy lying on top….aww!

A bit of a hodge podge post today, but I’m determined to keep up with blogging, so it may be some quick little updates until I get settled into a schedule. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

Education

First week of college……!

 

alex-harvey-44062(I love this picture – not mine, but it sums up how I’m feeling! Source)

Hello everybody! Well I seem to have survived a rather busy week, and to be honest I’m still processing it.

I was late the first day, haha!

Class starts at 9am sharp, so from easy going mornings of pottering around, I’m now throwing myself out the door at 08:30 to run down to college, after feeding and walking the dog, doing laundry, making lunches for myself and hubby, getting ready etc. Its a bit of a culture shock, lemme tell ya! As I scuttled down the road, I did a mental check of omg-I-didn’t-shut-the-window-have-I-switched-the-iron-off-I-can’t-find-my-keys-I-bet-I-left-them-in-the-door!

First day I walked into a packed lecture hall, scanning faces to see if there was anyone my age that I could sit with. Nope! So I squeezed in between two young’uns as the lecturer was going through the induction. Then we were split into our respective classes and led off to the rooms. My group was led by a lovely lady, who waved her arms around like an overly excited air hostess as she pointed out places of interest:

“Ladies loo’s over there…….canteen down that corridor…….library up those stairs” she trilled, swooping her arms around. My head felt like it was going to spin off, haha!

So, in class we spent the first days doing those terrible ice breaking exercises where you have to introduce yourself and say something interesting that begins with the first letter of your name. (This is so everyone gets to know you and remembers you – just for reference, I like cartwheels, camping, and cake….)

As an introvert though, I am finding the combined information overload/meeting new people situation really overwhelming, and at break times and lunch, I like to sit by myself in the classroom. I read a book and drink coffee/or cucumber water (new discovery, its amazing!) and just chill. I’ll probably get the reputation as an anti social weirdo, but for now it suits me. After a few weeks of adjustment, I’ll probably integrate more – the classmates are all very nice, and we do talk to each other, but only to discuss classwork. I don’t have the conversation that would remotely interest a twenty something who has boyfriend drama and parties hard! Its quite odd, because when I was at Uni, I really immersed myself in all aspects of student life (I mean joining groups and activities, NOT partying, haha!) I chatted with literally everybody I met, and found Uni life quite exciting. Now I’m older though, I’m focused more on just doing what I need to do, and consider my life away from college as my “real” life – does that make sense? I don’t define myself as a student like I did before……I’m more like “I do this and that, oh, and I also go to college” Quite interesting from a psychological perspective.

Needless to say I haven’t picked up a paintbrush all week, which bothers me. This first weekend is being spent catching up on all the chores I missed, so I doubt I’ll paint today. It will take time to get used to the new routine, I’m aware of that, but I just thought I would check in with some thoughts of the first week.

Next week is “specialist programs and terminology”, which sounds so much…..fun….! I found an old android phone in the junk drawer, and I’m using that for my “productivity apps” (yes, I am that much of a geek). I have my timetable on it, and to-do lists, along with habit trackers and timers, so that I keep focused on my schedule and not wander off to the Room of Doom to doodle! I tried customising some folders to use, but decided they weren’t professional looking, so went out and bought some “proper” stationery to use in college.

Kinda wish I was doing an art course now, haha!

Anyway, that’s it for now. I will try and pop in during the week to post something colourful, because creativity is (another word beginning with C!) relaxing and I feel I’m just running on adrenaline right now. But overall, the work is fine, the people are nice, and I think its going to be a good year! 🙂

Education

College tomorrow!

redd-angelo-12845

(Not my photo. I have art books, not academic ones, ha! – source here: Redd Angelo)

So tomorrow I start college. Just for reference if you are not familiar with the education system here in the UK – College is a level of study before University. I think some colleges are degree accredited now, but for simplicity, we have 3 levels of college courses, and then 3 or 4 years of University, depending on the course. Then you have Masters courses which can be 1 or 2 years, and PHD’s…… So from age 5, when primary school starts, you could theoretically spend the next twenty years in full time education, if you so chose to do so……sounds fun, huh? 🙂

Of course, due to my “arse from elbow” (Scottish term for back to front) way of living, I stuttered and stumbled through my young years of education, worked for a while, then went to college and University in my thirties – having children and moving house several times, along the way. Having finally got my degree, I became very ill for a few years which pretty much put me back to square one as far as work went, because not having any recent activity on paper didn’t really go down well with potential employers!

I found myself in mid-life, with health issues, no job, no recent education, and an old degree which said I was fairly clever if I put my mind to it. So feeling a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of another possible 25+ years of pottering around, I decided to start over.

I’m so grateful that I live in a place where education is available for all (especially women) at any age, and indeed it can be a lifelong journey if you choose to make it so…..just look at these people who are getting degrees . And here’s me worrying about being a couple years shy of…well, I was feeling a little old, but hey…..

(I also just found this which records the youngest people ever to graduate)

This course I’m doing only lasts a year, and its an Admin based course so when I finish I can go and work in a hospital or somesuch. Together with my degree, I could progress into a job involving some sort of therapy, which interests me a lot, because I love helping people. But I’m not getting ahead of myself just yet….I still need to figure out important things like what to wear, where the canteen is, and how many books are allowed to be checked out of the library – I do love a good library!

I’ll still be doing creative things of course, so anyone who is following along for arty farty stuff will continue to see odd art experiments – because its what I do and I can’t stop, ha! However, there will be more lifestyle posts on here, just as a record of what’s going on “moving forward” (gah, I loathe that phrase but its the first one that popped into my head!)

If you are reading this on my actual site, and not the Reading List, then you will see I made some little changes regarding the theme. This was pure accident – I was messing around, not realising WordPress had “retired” the pretty and arty theme I have been using for the last 2 years (almost 2 years). So I couldn’t get it back even if I wanted to, and therefore had to go with something more current. I suppose the blog could do with freshening up, but still…Grrrrr!

Right, well…I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. Bye for now! 🙂

Blogging 101

Rambling bits and bobs.

So hello! How are you all? I’m having a really good day today – one of those “high energy” days when the sun shines, you fling open the windows thinking its going to be a fabulous day.

My dog has other ideas though……

molly1

She is a bit of a lazy bones when its warm. In fact she doesn’t like going out when its wet either, so…..its hard work being a dog.

I haven’t been doing much creating of late……trying to get the Room of Doom straightened out and decluttered for college has taken up most of my time. Being ruthless with “my stuff” is a terrible ordeal. Its something that requires a constant stream of “Do I need this? Will it come in useful? Why haven’t I used it then”? questions. I have already dispatched 14 wallpaper sample books to the recycling (which gets picked up tomorrow – and no I won’t be fetching them back beforehand – although I did think about it)

I have been watching some minimalist videos on YouTube and feeling all inspired. So I tackled a room and decorated it in a neutral palette…..

vintage room

This does have a vintage filter on it, but basically its all browns and creams. I had a mad idea to use up some samples in a patchwork design on one wall……and I don’t like it now. In fact I’m not sure I like the room (its a tiny bedroom that was my daughters)Do you see the button lamp I glued up from ages ago? And that Bureau was a gift from hubby about 7 years ago – I adore bureaus.

Only have a couple of weeks to go before college starts. They want a photo of me for my college card, and no matter how many times I send one to them, it gets rejected for one reason or another! I’m no good at selfies, haha!

So I hope you are all well. Bye for now 🙂

Blogging 101, Video

Rawwwr, Go me!

Hello everyone. I just wanted to say thank you so much for your comments on my last post. Getting deep dark stuff out there is difficult, but sometimes necessary if you want to become stronger and move on. I appreciated all the comments and support, I really did – and it spurred me on to actually do a brief intro video on YouTube (1.41 mins, haha!). I’m really pleased that I did it now, to be honest. Wanna see? So yes….that’s all I have for the moment. I’m painting a picture (watercolour doodle type thing) for my sewing area just now, so I shall show that here once I’m finished. Cheery bye for now!

 

 

 

writing 101

Storytime: Narcissism

I haven’t seen my mother in almost 30 years. Last time I spoke to her on the phone (Christmas 2016), I told her finally to GFY, because I was tired of her lies, drama, and judgements.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I still can’t make a bloomin’ YouTube video stay online! And now I realise why. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough. Its just me – who am I to tell, to show, to share?

See, growing up with a narcissistic parent is horrific. Everything you do is scrutinised to ensure it reflects admirably on the parent. Woe betide you if you fail in your duty to be an extension of their grandiose vision of themselves. Privacy is not an option, in any capacity. Bedrooms are routinely turned over looking for evidence of wrong doing. Journals are discovered and read out gleefully at the dinner table. Schools are besieged with phonecalls requesting that teachers keep an eye on you. Anyone who knows you are quizzed about things they might have picked up during conversation with you, and any snippets of information are swiftly corrected if it is perceived to be validating you. You learn to be a loner and keep your own counsel.

As a child, there is no sense of identity, value, or self worth. Any sense of pride at accomplishments is beaten out of you. Lectures about being a failure; about being an embarrassment; about the shame you bring to everyone who comes into contact with you, is a daily occurrence and lasts for hours until you fall into a blubbering wreck of gibbering apologetic nonsense. (Bonus points for apologising in advance. Daily.)

It becomes worse when another sibling is involved. Then its contrast and compare, and again you are found wanting. Classic Golden Child and the Scapegoat. The Golden Child becomes the echo of the Narc parent – if only to save themselves. Even if the Golden Child fails too…..its an honourable fail. They are loved.

So! Having thought about my reluctance to share – vs – current social media mania for sharing every nuance of life and subsequent windy aftermath, I finally understood why I was cautious about it.

And so I share my reason. Fearlessly, and without apology. I learned something today, and that is priceless. I still may never make numerous videos, but that’s ok. Its not about that, really. Its about trying, and being proud of trying, and feeling like you did your bit regardless.