Education

First week of college……!

 

alex-harvey-44062(I love this picture – not mine, but it sums up how I’m feeling! Source)

Hello everybody! Well I seem to have survived a rather busy week, and to be honest I’m still processing it.

I was late the first day, haha!

Class starts at 9am sharp, so from easy going mornings of pottering around, I’m now throwing myself out the door at 08:30 to run down to college, after feeding and walking the dog, doing laundry, making lunches for myself and hubby, getting ready etc. Its a bit of a culture shock, lemme tell ya! As I scuttled down the road, I did a mental check of omg-I-didn’t-shut-the-window-have-I-switched-the-iron-off-I-can’t-find-my-keys-I-bet-I-left-them-in-the-door!

First day I walked into a packed lecture hall, scanning faces to see if there was anyone my age that I could sit with. Nope! So I squeezed in between two young’uns as the lecturer was going through the induction. Then we were split into our respective classes and led off to the rooms. My group was led by a lovely lady, who waved her arms around like an overly excited air hostess as she pointed out places of interest:

“Ladies loo’s over there…….canteen down that corridor…….library up those stairs” she trilled, swooping her arms around. My head felt like it was going to spin off, haha!

So, in class we spent the first days doing those terrible ice breaking exercises where you have to introduce yourself and say something interesting that begins with the first letter of your name. (This is so everyone gets to know you and remembers you – just for reference, I like cartwheels, camping, and cake….)

As an introvert though, I am finding the combined information overload/meeting new people situation really overwhelming, and at break times and lunch, I like to sit by myself in the classroom. I read a book and drink coffee/or cucumber water (new discovery, its amazing!) and just chill. I’ll probably get the reputation as an anti social weirdo, but for now it suits me. After a few weeks of adjustment, I’ll probably integrate more – the classmates are all very nice, and we do talk to each other, but only to discuss classwork. I don’t have the conversation that would remotely interest a twenty something who has boyfriend drama and parties hard! Its quite odd, because when I was at Uni, I really immersed myself in all aspects of student life (I mean joining groups and activities, NOT partying, haha!) I chatted with literally everybody I met, and found Uni life quite exciting. Now I’m older though, I’m focused more on just doing what I need to do, and consider my life away from college as my “real” life – does that make sense? I don’t define myself as a student like I did before……I’m more like “I do this and that, oh, and I also go to college” Quite interesting from a psychological perspective.

Needless to say I haven’t picked up a paintbrush all week, which bothers me. This first weekend is being spent catching up on all the chores I missed, so I doubt I’ll paint today. It will take time to get used to the new routine, I’m aware of that, but I just thought I would check in with some thoughts of the first week.

Next week is “specialist programs and terminology”, which sounds so much…..fun….! I found an old android phone in the junk drawer, and I’m using that for my “productivity apps” (yes, I am that much of a geek). I have my timetable on it, and to-do lists, along with habit trackers and timers, so that I keep focused on my schedule and not wander off to the Room of Doom to doodle! I tried customising some folders to use, but decided they weren’t professional looking, so went out and bought some “proper” stationery to use in college.

Kinda wish I was doing an art course now, haha!

Anyway, that’s it for now. I will try and pop in during the week to post something colourful, because creativity is (another word beginning with C!) relaxing and I feel I’m just running on adrenaline right now. But overall, the work is fine, the people are nice, and I think its going to be a good year! 🙂

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Education

College tomorrow!

redd-angelo-12845

(Not my photo. I have art books, not academic ones, ha! – source here: Redd Angelo)

So tomorrow I start college. Just for reference if you are not familiar with the education system here in the UK – College is a level of study before University. I think some colleges are degree accredited now, but for simplicity, we have 3 levels of college courses, and then 3 or 4 years of University, depending on the course. Then you have Masters courses which can be 1 or 2 years, and PHD’s…… So from age 5, when primary school starts, you could theoretically spend the next twenty years in full time education, if you so chose to do so……sounds fun, huh? 🙂

Of course, due to my “arse from elbow” (Scottish term for back to front) way of living, I stuttered and stumbled through my young years of education, worked for a while, then went to college and University in my thirties – having children and moving house several times, along the way. Having finally got my degree, I became very ill for a few years which pretty much put me back to square one as far as work went, because not having any recent activity on paper didn’t really go down well with potential employers!

I found myself in mid-life, with health issues, no job, no recent education, and an old degree which said I was fairly clever if I put my mind to it. So feeling a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of another possible 25+ years of pottering around, I decided to start over.

I’m so grateful that I live in a place where education is available for all (especially women) at any age, and indeed it can be a lifelong journey if you choose to make it so…..just look at these people who are getting degrees . And here’s me worrying about being a couple years shy of…well, I was feeling a little old, but hey…..

(I also just found this which records the youngest people ever to graduate)

This course I’m doing only lasts a year, and its an Admin based course so when I finish I can go and work in a hospital or somesuch. Together with my degree, I could progress into a job involving some sort of therapy, which interests me a lot, because I love helping people. But I’m not getting ahead of myself just yet….I still need to figure out important things like what to wear, where the canteen is, and how many books are allowed to be checked out of the library – I do love a good library!

I’ll still be doing creative things of course, so anyone who is following along for arty farty stuff will continue to see odd art experiments – because its what I do and I can’t stop, ha! However, there will be more lifestyle posts on here, just as a record of what’s going on “moving forward” (gah, I loathe that phrase but its the first one that popped into my head!)

If you are reading this on my actual site, and not the Reading List, then you will see I made some little changes regarding the theme. This was pure accident – I was messing around, not realising WordPress had “retired” the pretty and arty theme I have been using for the last 2 years (almost 2 years). So I couldn’t get it back even if I wanted to, and therefore had to go with something more current. I suppose the blog could do with freshening up, but still…Grrrrr!

Right, well…I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. Bye for now! 🙂

Blogging 101

Rambling bits and bobs.

So hello! How are you all? I’m having a really good day today – one of those “high energy” days when the sun shines, you fling open the windows thinking its going to be a fabulous day.

My dog has other ideas though……

molly1

She is a bit of a lazy bones when its warm. In fact she doesn’t like going out when its wet either, so…..its hard work being a dog.

I haven’t been doing much creating of late……trying to get the Room of Doom straightened out and decluttered for college has taken up most of my time. Being ruthless with “my stuff” is a terrible ordeal. Its something that requires a constant stream of “Do I need this? Will it come in useful? Why haven’t I used it then”? questions. I have already dispatched 14 wallpaper sample books to the recycling (which gets picked up tomorrow – and no I won’t be fetching them back beforehand – although I did think about it)

I have been watching some minimalist videos on YouTube and feeling all inspired. So I tackled a room and decorated it in a neutral palette…..

vintage room

This does have a vintage filter on it, but basically its all browns and creams. I had a mad idea to use up some samples in a patchwork design on one wall……and I don’t like it now. In fact I’m not sure I like the room (its a tiny bedroom that was my daughters)Do you see the button lamp I glued up from ages ago? And that Bureau was a gift from hubby about 7 years ago – I adore bureaus.

Only have a couple of weeks to go before college starts. They want a photo of me for my college card, and no matter how many times I send one to them, it gets rejected for one reason or another! I’m no good at selfies, haha!

So I hope you are all well. Bye for now 🙂

Blogging 101, Video

Rawwwr, Go me!

Hello everyone. I just wanted to say thank you so much for your comments on my last post. Getting deep dark stuff out there is difficult, but sometimes necessary if you want to become stronger and move on. I appreciated all the comments and support, I really did – and it spurred me on to actually do a brief intro video on YouTube (1.41 mins, haha!). I’m really pleased that I did it now, to be honest. Wanna see? So yes….that’s all I have for the moment. I’m painting a picture (watercolour doodle type thing) for my sewing area just now, so I shall show that here once I’m finished. Cheery bye for now!

 

 

 

writing 101

Storytime: Narcissism

I haven’t seen my mother in almost 30 years. Last time I spoke to her on the phone (Christmas 2016), I told her finally to GFY, because I was tired of her lies, drama, and judgements.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I still can’t make a bloomin’ YouTube video stay online! And now I realise why. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough. Its just me – who am I to tell, to show, to share?

See, growing up with a narcissistic parent is horrific. Everything you do is scrutinised to ensure it reflects admirably on the parent. Woe betide you if you fail in your duty to be an extension of their grandiose vision of themselves. Privacy is not an option, in any capacity. Bedrooms are routinely turned over looking for evidence of wrong doing. Journals are discovered and read out gleefully at the dinner table. Schools are besieged with phonecalls requesting that teachers keep an eye on you. Anyone who knows you are quizzed about things they might have picked up during conversation with you, and any snippets of information are swiftly corrected if it is perceived to be validating you. You learn to be a loner and keep your own counsel.

As a child, there is no sense of identity, value, or self worth. Any sense of pride at accomplishments is beaten out of you. Lectures about being a failure; about being an embarrassment; about the shame you bring to everyone who comes into contact with you, is a daily occurrence and lasts for hours until you fall into a blubbering wreck of gibbering apologetic nonsense. (Bonus points for apologising in advance. Daily.)

It becomes worse when another sibling is involved. Then its contrast and compare, and again you are found wanting. Classic Golden Child and the Scapegoat. The Golden Child becomes the echo of the Narc parent – if only to save themselves. Even if the Golden Child fails too…..its an honourable fail. They are loved.

So! Having thought about my reluctance to share – vs – current social media mania for sharing every nuance of life and subsequent windy aftermath, I finally understood why I was cautious about it.

And so I share my reason. Fearlessly, and without apology. I learned something today, and that is priceless. I still may never make numerous videos, but that’s ok. Its not about that, really. Its about trying, and being proud of trying, and feeling like you did your bit regardless.

 

 

 

Crafts

Oh…..

Well it seems that I have been very remiss in my posting here, despite the fact that I got a new laptop! Lemme explain….

I tried to make a video for YouTube, because I thought that chatting on screen would make me oh-so confident (because really I am incredibly shy and introverted), so I made it, and made a thumbnail like this, which I thought was terribly clever!

YT Thumbnail Papercraft

Then I thought it was really cheesy and horrible and nobody would watch someone playing with scrap paper, and so I deleted it. Even that gleeful look on my face makes me cringe, haha!

So! Having decided that I wasn’t going to be a YouTube star after all, I cleared up all my arty crafty stuff and fixed up my room for making a study of sorts (being a student in August an’ all), then I got all dismayed at not being able to do arty stuff, retrieved all my  materials, and proceeded to organise them into boxes *properly*.

So that’s where I’m at right now. Organising and sorting. I’m thinking I can actually combine the crafting stuff with student life, because I can make stationery, folders, planners, and notebooks! So its a win win all round! Go me and my cheesy grin! 🙂

Photography

Fancy a Walk? (Picture Heavy)

So today we sailed off to the beach – one of many little islands dotted around the Scottish coast. It was a bleak day, mostly…muggy and grey. I only took my phone camera with me to snap a few shots, so here they are…

landscape

This was the view from the ferry – see how grey blue it all is? But interesting things happen on the water…

submarine

A Submarine!

Fishing Boat

A rusty old fishing boat

Yacht

A yacht. (Not mine, sadly!)

Empty Beach

I found some jellyfish….GIANT jellyfish on the empty beach as the tide was going out…

Jellyfish1

My walking boot for scale

Jellyfish2

These things were like something from a horror movie!

clear water

Look how clear the water is though!

B&W Standing Stones

We found some ancient standing stones – I took this in black and white to highlight the “faces” I see there. I see faces in most things!

Escaped Cow

I tried to rescue an escaped cow that couldn’t get back in her field…..she ran away from me and her friends gathered around moo-ing defensively. I left them to it. Scary things, cows are – especially in a gang!

Lighthouse

On the way back on the ferry, I just had to take a photo of this adorable lighthouse!

CCTV Face

As we waited for the train, I saw this……now someone did make a face with this….didn’t they? They did. So funny!

 

 

Photography

Macro Flowers Photography

I was out with my little dog today, and came across some lovely flowers – tulips I think. They had ragged edges, which looks quite lovely. The Frayed Tulip its called.

The painted flower

This one looks painted doesn’t it?

Pink Tulip Edge Macro

This is pretty as well.

Yellow edged tulip

Of course they have been modified to look like this, which my heart doesn’t agree with really (hypocritical, i know, since I’m posting them here saying “oooh pretty”) but I’m more of a wild meadow flower lover.

 

art

Skippity Skip!

Skip to my lou

Hello!!! I am no longer a snivelling pile of misery. I am now barking like a dog on 60 a day, sadly, but hey ho…..I am focused and alert and have a tad more energy than before. Hubby and I love to share our viruses with each other  are on the mend.

So! This morning I was all of a fuffle. All this energy and nowhere to direct it. I dyed fabric, thinking I would sew, then an hour later found myself making paper mache masks with the tiny styrofoam eggs I had left over from Easter. Then I made inkblots, one of which is above – very fitting I thought. Skipping along nicely!

We have switched to our Summer Diet earlier than usual – we usually begin in May, but since we clearly need some vitamin support, I’m doing it now. Its very simple and comprises of having fruit or veggie smoothies every alternate night instead of a main meal. It works out quite well – no point in stuffing ourselves with a heavy meal at the end of the day, keep it light and fruity!

Did anyone see that giraffe giving birth? I stumbled on it by accident as the tiny hooves were sticking out of her bottom (sorry, tmi) but I didn’t know the whole giraffe thing had gone viral!! Ah well.

Anyway, nice to be back. I missed you all – lets just give the place a bit of a dust and I’ll get the kettle on!

Blogging 101

Life is like a Pigeon…

pigeons ahoy

I  took this shot in the High Street, as a flock of pigeons rose and swarmed like locusts swooping on a field of….what do locusts eat….grain? A field of grain.

So! Why is life like pigeons….well, we have the Lurgy again. Apparently its the 100 day Cold, according to the doctor. Hubby is on antibiotics, while I’m just sniffy. I tried to continue with doll production, but its not really happening. I got as far as this….

stick egg doll

…….then got bored. I’m all out of patience right now. Bleugh. I want to paint, but the Room of Doom is all Doomlike again, which makes me fed up. I need more space (hahaha! Nope.) I need to chuck out some stuff. Purge time. The idea doesn’t excite me, but needs must. I have to start the week productively and no sniffles are going to stop me!

Hope you are all well here in Blogland.